Wordperson

Some phrases strike fear in my heart, for I know they forecast pain and suffering in my future. These include:

• You’ll just feel a little pressure. (Dentist)
• Your brakes need work. (Mechanic)
• That’s the creative challenge. (Client or account exec.)

I learned very early on in this industry that when someone says “creative challenge,” they don’t mean: “Push the envelope, kiddo,  break the rules, and show us what you can do.”  What they really mean is “I know I’m asking for something impossible,” or “I know that I’m wrong/contradicting myself, but am not going to admit it, so I’ll just dump the problem on you.”

Here are some examples of creative challenges I’ve faced over the years.

At an agency During one annual performance review I was complimented for my quick turnarounds and respect for deadlines. “Woo hoo!” I thought. “Here comes a raise/bonus.” Instead, I was informed that I needed to get my billable hours up.

“But the only way to get my hours up is to take more time on each project, and that would compromise deadlines and turnarounds,” I said.

“I know,” said my supervisor. “That’s the creative challenge. We want you to continue meeting all your deadlines, but get your billable hours up at the same time.”

For a while I tried slowing down on each project – exploring more solutions, considering more options. That got my billable hours up, but angered the account team. At my next review I was told I needed to return to form and start working faster.

“But I was supposed to get my billable hours up,” I said.

“I know,” said my supervisor. “That’s the creative challenge.”

Fortunately the solution to this creative challenge was fairly simple. Another co-worker shared the secret: deliver on time, but pad the timesheet. Problem solved.

In a radio spot We had done a radio spot for an auto-service client about the importance of oil changes. We had used a musical metaphor for the difference between how an engine feels with rough, dirty oil (discordant, raspy music) and smooth, fresh oil (Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus.”) However, a religious group was offended at our use of Handel’s music and the client, ever sensitive to their public, demanded we fix the spot at the agency’s expense.  “Simple enough,” I thought. “We’ll just pop in a different piece of music.”

But now the account exec at the agency was nervous. We couldn’t take a chance on offending another group. “No more musical metaphors,” I was told. “Use more realistic sound effects.”

“Well, OK,” I replied. “That’s easily done for the rough part of the spot. We can find raspy sound effects that will sound like a dirty engine. But there is no realistic sound effect for smooth, fresh oil. By definition, that would be silence and dead air is a no-no in radio.”

“That’s the creative challenge,” said the AE. “Come up with a catchy, realistic sound effect that works on radio and says smooth, well-lubricated engine.”

My brain has blocked how we got around this one. I have glimpses of sitting in the recording studio, trying sound effect after sound effect, and playing them for the AE and client, who would both comment that the smooth sound effect didn’t sound smooth enough yet. I can’t remember the end result – but I’m sure it sucked.

In a TV spot We were doing an animated spot for a client and had selected a really cool animation style. The people would be fairly “blobby” and fun looking – more metaphoric than realistic. And they were going to be in shades of purple. There was a strategic purpose for this. By using metaphoric people, we could get around any criticism of how old the people were, how many were men, how many were women, and how diverse the group was. By using blobby, purple people we were representing everyone!

The spot was coming together just great – until an overly literal AE decided purple was too much.

“We need to be more realistic in the colour for the people,” she told my art director and me. “But make sure you represent diversity and don’t offend.”

“But the animator’s estimate was based on one colour,” we countered. “We don’t have more money for more colours. And we chose purple deliberately because it was inclusive.”

“Then you need to find a new, realistic generic people colour that applies to everyone,” she said.

“There’s no such thing,” we replied.

“That’s the creative challenge,” she said, and walked away thinking she’d really done her job.

If memory serves, purple won. But only after a dozen pencil tests and focus groups to prove the point, all of which blew the budget.

In conclusion

Has anybody ever given you the old “creative challenge” challenge? Share your war stories here.